Staying positive following a pregnancy announcement when you’re waiting on your own baby is challenging. It feels like a personal betrayal. Seeing couple after couple effortlessly growing their families often made it harder for me to believe that it was ever going to really happen for us.
Another cycle came to an end, and without fail, day one of my flow… BAM. Pregnancy announcement.
The three cute little pumpkins on Facebook and Instagram. The gender reveal cake at work. My sister-in-law announces her fourth kid.
Knife. To. The. Heart.
This is the time when we all say, “I’m happy for you, just sad for me.”
But are we really happy for them? I know I felt as if every pregnant woman in the world was out to get me. In my imagination, they were all a part of a special club of moms that I didn’t fit into yet. It’s was so easy for me to get caught up in the negativity when it seemed so easy for others to get pregnant. *Cue the gut-punching catchphrase, “We weren’t even trying!”* Gag.
While I’m all for taking a break from social media to avoid falling into devastation, you can’t shield yourself from all pregnancy announcements. In order to keep your heart and mind open and believing, you’re going to need some tools at your disposal.
It's alright to be sad.
It is perfectly fine to feel your emotions and have a good cry. In fact, I encourage it. We are human, and our emotions help us identify when something isn’t quite right. But it does not need to eat up your whole day, make you lash out at your partner or your mother, and keep you in your PJs from sun up to sundown.
Set a timer for your crying session. Let it all out. Journal it out. Draw a picture. Whatever you have to do to acknowledge and give attention to your emotion. Once the timer goes off, wipe your eyes and close them. Put your hand on your heart, and imagine that negativity floating away into the distance and a beautiful bright shiny light filling the space it leaves behind.
So after you catch your breath…
How can you stay positive, with a genuine smile on your face and a steadfast belief in your heart that your baby is on its way?
1. Have a contingency plan in place for any low vibe days.
Whether it’s an announcement that’s got you down or just a bad day at work, it helps to keep the ball moving in the direction of your goals and take care of yourself. Seriously. Grab a pen and paper or your notes app and get to writing. List exactly what you will do, in order, when you see that announcement. Being prepped is key, and you’ll feel less caught off guard.
I suggest three to five activities. Each activity that you choose should be one that makes you feel good, productive, helpful, healthy, sexy…anything. Even if you’re faking it ‘til you make it.
When you recognize these emotions, let them go and pull out your plan. Take a bath, enjoy a glass of whatever warms your soul, cook a delicious meal or go out to eat, give your partner a genuine compliment, or run some errands to get out of the house while bumping a happy playlist.
2. Breathe deep, and list the things you’re grateful for.
When you’re down and feeling your worst, that’s when you need to be the most grateful.
This has the potential to really shift your mindset from the dark places that TTC can take a person. Not just your house or food to eat (although those are wonderful!). Dig deep on these days.
What do YOU have that others wish they had? What do you have now that you wished for years ago?
The truth is, looking at our lives from outside, we have a lot that others desire. Actively appreciating your life ensures more good things are coming your way. You’re training your brain to always look for the amazing, and as a result, you’ll only see the amazing come to pass.
(I use an app called What’s Good to list three things whenever I feel the sadness creepin’ in.)
3. Recite affirmations and practice feeling them.
I’m going to be super blunt, here. What everyone else is doing and what babies they’re creating… that’s none of your business.
You are in charge of your own life, and no one else’s.
Of course, I mean this with all the love in the world. However, affirmations (short sentences that rewire our thinking through repetition) help us to take back the control over our own lives and craft our own story.
This means saying something along the lines of, “I’m so happy for her, and so excited that my baby is on its way too!” Then genuinely feeling the excitement course through your body. I know this sounds crazy, but it works to pull me out of a funk, every time.
If you need more ideas for pregnancy manifesting affirmations, check out this post!
4. Be a Blessing to Someone Else.
My mama always told me, “Jessi, if you want to feel better instantly, do something nice for someone else.” Works every time.
You don’t have to do or say anything out loud if you don’t want to, but even just thinking and wishing for success for another person is extremely powerful. Not to mention, it sends quite a message to the universe that you are ready to consider others (AKA your baby) even when you’re feeling less that wonderful.
Here’s the thing, friend- we’re all on this earth, coexisting together. We all have struggles. You’re struggling to make a baby, but perhaps your friend is struggling with her marriage or finances? How can you be a blessing to that person?
Get out of your own head, and do something kind. You will never regret it.
5. Redirect Your Thoughts and Get Back on Track.
Don’t let your hopes get dashed against the rocks of life. Just because your cousin is having another baby, does not mean you get any fewer babies. You still get to be excited about yours.
Ummm….Besides, do you want someone hating on you after you announce your pregnancy? Didn’t think so.
Plan an activity that gets you excited about having a baby again.
Journal out your own pregnancy announcement.
Go fill up your amazon baby registry.
Create a vision board full of pictures for baby’s room or pictures of activities you’ll be doing together. Check out this post to see how a vision board can help you manifest pregnancy!
Go through a name book with your husband- get him in on the fun and excited too! Two excited and grateful hearts are infinitely more powerful than one.
Choose something that lights you up and fills your heart with joy in preparation for baby.
You’ve got this, mama.
These days are hard, but staying on top of your believing game is more important than ever. Being prepared for announcements (because they’ll keep coming) tells the universe that you are ready for the challenges of parenting. For real.